about four or five months ago, some blogger friends and I were searching for a name for our hangouts chat group. since the founder is a very big fan of the blood race series we finally agreed to name ourselves the dimension (which, in the book, is the name of the alternate reality wherein certain characters live).
last month, our founder also had the great idea for us, the dimension, to take over the blog-sphere for a week - so here we are. we wanted to roast each other for our obsessions or oddities, but as it turns out, we decided that for my post it would be far more fun to roast a seventh, secret member of our dimension chat ... that little imp who's responsible for all our typos and spelling errors.
let's get into it!! (I shall be speaking in GREEN.)
Introduce yourselves please!!
It is I, the Queen of Ships, Brooke!
Heyo! I’m Gray Marie the queen of all things relating to messiness.
Greetings, lovely people! I am Lila the queen of awkward potato-ness.
Hello all, it’s Faith!
Lisa: Will you all please tell the audience the backstory of Lisa and Carden so that they will not be confused by the subsequent questions?
Brooke: Haha, well, it started when Lisa began reading The Cruel Prince. And soon after, our group chat began to have typos from her. Naturally, being a place of rambles and fun we didn’t care. But we soon discovered something- or someone- more sinister lurked within Lisa’s phone. And that someone was Carden.
Gray: Ditto, what Brooke said. Carden is the reason we can never fully understand Lisa’s already hilarious ramblings.
Lila: Lisa read The Cruel Prince. That was apparently a big mistake because now Carden has invaded her phone and tortures her with typos and spelling mistakes.
Faith: Cardan invaded Lisa’s phone when she read The Cruel Prince. And now it will never go back to normal. He recognizes his own name in spell check...but nothing else.
Lisa: How annoying is Carden to Lisa and to everyone else in the Dimension chat?
Brooke: Personally, I am more amused by his clever wit, but I do feel bad for Lisa having to struggle with his idea of fun. But, considering the horrible way he treats humans in his book, I suppose I am thankful he is only messing with her words.
Lila: Like Brooke above, I’m more amused than anything. But, typos ARE in general super annoying, so… I guess on the Annoying Scale, I’d give Carden something like a 7 out of 10? XD
Lisa: And now, in spite of his annoying-ness, please describe how much Lisa needs and likes him anyway.
Brooke: Without Carden, Lisa might actually be less amused by The Dimension. She may find our daily tasks of being sliders less fun without him. And she loves him the most, anyway.
Gray: Carden is just that loveable little brother that misunderstands conversations he was eavesdropping on and shouts out something nonsensical. He’s a smol mischevious bean, one must sort of love him.
Lila: Unpopular opinion, but Lisa doesn’t need Carden at all. He’s mean and won’t leave us alone, and I’d advise her to run away from this toxic relationship as fast as she possibly can. XD
Faith: He needs to shut up and stop interrupting conversations that aren’t his xD
Lisa: How often does Lisa (and the rest of the anomalies) yell about Carden?
Brooke: He sometimes comes to visit all of the sliders’ phones, so we have to put him in his place at times.
Gray: He keeps making me put “food” instead of “good”, which I’m not sure is a bad thing??? I feel like the word “food” expresses my pleasure just as well as “good”, if not better.
Example:
Me: *asks a generic question*
Friend: *gives generic answer*
Carden: food.
Lila: I just join in when everyone else yells at him, but I don’t think I’m very good at it because I always end up laughing?? This just goes to show how manipulative Carden is and how he needs to be caught and shunned from The Dimension ASAP.
Faith: Cardan is a menace and I think he pops up just about every day. It’s definitely a problem.
Lisa: Does Carden feel any remorse whatsoever for all the pain he’s inflicted?
Brooke: Absolutely not! He is only getting started. I fear for what he might do later, if he decides messing with words is not enough for his tastes. I suspect it won’t be.
Gray: I’m starting to doubt it. What’s next Carden after you make all of my friends think I’m always hungry (where’s the lie though)? World domination?
Lila: I seriously doubt that Carden has any regrets whatsoever.
Faith: Regrets? We all know he mislikes grammar issues and prefers to just change them to his own thing. Such as the main case in point: mislikes. WHO SAYS MISLIKE?! It’s dislike.
Lisa: Please recount your best (or funniest or worst) memory of Carden’s antics.
Brooke: When I had my blogger form up for the updates of things going on for my blog, Carden had to hijack Lisa’s entry. He was, reluctantly, let in on the updates, but I suppose he had to be.
Gray: Lisa having to repeat words to no avail in the group chat because Carden always finds a way to change them.
Lila: I can’t think of anything specific, oddly enough. CARDEN IS MUDDLING MY BRAIN.
Faith: That time Cardan hijacked Brooke’s blog was definitely fun xD
Lisa: And lastly, please describe your feelings about Carden somehow getting his very own post on Lisa’s blog (this post.)
Brooke: I should have seen it coming, tbh. Carden is very persuasive. He’s been wanting his own post on Lisa’s blog since he discovered Lisa had a blog. (Of course, she had to explain to him what a blog is as his home is not that advanced in technology.)
Gray: LIKE I SAID, WORLD DOMINATION. The dude has a plan and now we are playing right into his plans.
Lila: Selfish, manipulative boy! (I’ve actually never read The Cruel Prince, so I have no idea what I’m talking about?? Oh well.)
Faith: He does NOT deserve this sort of privilege. Toss him out. Delete this post. Don’t comment—don’t give him that satisfaction.
Lisa: Now, please feel free to free write however much you want on this subject, and say whatever you couldn’t say before.
Brooke: Carden and Lisa in The Dimension can be a fun duo, but they can argue sometimes, which isn’t so much fun. I find it amusing, though, and enjoy their conversations with each other. <laughing emoji with tears face>
Gray: I find it hilarious, especially when I miss an incident and open my phone up to 100+ messages of Lisa ranting about Carden.
Lila: All we can do is pray for Lisa’s sanity and hope Carden doesn’t spread the invasion to the rest of our devices (anymore than he already has). I speak on the behalf of our dear Lisa and everyone else contributing to this post when I say you can blame any runaway typos in here on HIM. *points accusatory finger*
Faith: Cardan is problematic in the extreme and he’s already taken over most of our phones (I mean, I cursed at a number of people BY ACCIDENT because of him. That alone goes to show what a menace he is.) We need to do away with this threat, NOW.
AND THERE WE HAVE IT FRIENDS. also listen to Faith and don't comment on this post unless you want Carden to get more smug of his mischief. XDD
visit the other dimensioneers and their roasts at these links (which shall be updated as the posts are posted):
lila @ the redhooded writer
brooke @ chasing dragonflies
gray @ sunshine and joy
faith @ the writer's song
(shoutout to our darling anna even though she didn't join in the roasting XD)
DOES CARDAN EVER POP INTO YOUR PHONE TOO?
Ah, Cardan. We all love you and hate you alike, and my daughter will have to be taking more steps to put you in your place in future *smirks* Watch out. She's coming, and she mislikes your obsession with bothering humans...
ReplyDeleteDon't forget your daughter is madly in love with me even though she will not admit it.
DeleteCheers, Cardan
#sorrynotsorry for commenting because Lord knows Cardan doesn't need any more ammunition, but this is a spectacular post! <3
ReplyDeleteSo blessed to have y'all. <3
Brooke @ Chasing Dragonflies
See, even you admit I'm spectacular!! I guess I ought to say I'm also blessed to have you [to keep me in check] but it's a blessing I'd rather do without.
Deletekeep chasing the dragonflies you shan't ever catch,
~ C
EXCUSE ME I WILL CATCH THOSE DRAGONFLIES THANK YOU VERY MUCH
DeleteDo you really want to fight this?
Delete~ C
Okay, it’s official: The #DimensionSquad (can I refer to you guys as that? I’m going to refer to you guys as that) is ICONIC. I LOVE this post!
ReplyDeleteYou are more than welcome to call them whatever you may want but remember I'm the hIgH KiNG. personally I'd approve calling them Cardan's Court but I feel some would disagree. *Heavy sigh*
DeleteI know. I'm iconic. At least someone loves me. TAKE THAT LISA.
stay well and look out for me - I might come visit your phone at some point soon!!
~ Cardan Greenbriar
Not sure what kind of spite fueled "ya'll" to misspell my name approximately 1646382046 times in this post but it's CardAn to you not CardEn.
ReplyDeleteyours forever,
~ CardAn
This is hilarious! XD I like you, Cardan! I feel your pain at having your name spelled incorrectly, happens to me all the time.
ReplyDeleteGlad you found it amusing. I'm also amused by how much they yell at me. At least someone relates to my pains. What's the standard procedure one you find someone who does - high fist or bump five, or what do they call it??
DeleteYours TRULY, Cardan
Love this! So funny!
ReplyDeleteastordetective.blogspot.com
Same here!!
Delete~ C
Ah, Cardan. What a character. XD
ReplyDeleteThis has been so much fun! <3
I really am, am I not? IT has definitely been fun in the Dimension, I say,
DeleteGleefully,
~ C
This is hilarious XD Faith told me about Cardan being in your phone and now he haunts me also because I am his mother and so he loves and hates me equally XD
ReplyDelete^^ everything you say is true, MoThEr
Deletelots of loving hate, Cardan
WHAT MISCHIEF. Such a naughty boy, Cardan! (Also stay awaaaayyyy from meeee) xD
ReplyDeleteHi, sorry about Cardan, I pried him away from replying to you xDD glad you enjoyed this!!
DeleteThis post is gold, ngl. XD
ReplyDeleteCARDAN. UGH. WHY MUST YOU TORTURE US???
I MUST BECAUSE I MUST. in any case it isn't real torture, just a bit of fun!
Delete~ C
okay, it's confirmed. THE DIMENSION TAKEOVER POSTS ARE LITERAL GOLD. XDDDD
ReplyDelete*groans* Cardan is always hijacking my phone so I could totally relate to every bit of this!! <3